March 29, 2013

Bear Essentials: Pineapple
( + Cranberry-Chipotle Meatballs with Pineapple )

It's Friday, and it's been a long week, and I'm really tired, guys.

Nobody likes to spend time hovering over a stove when they're exhausted.  So I thought I'd give you the fastest recipe you've ever seen. 

March 28, 2013

Bear Essentials: Pineapple
( + Pineapple Upside-Down Pancakes )

Sure, this is a lot of rum for one recipe - especially for something that's meant to be eaten for breakfast.  

And you're saying that's a bad thing?

March 27, 2013

Bear Essentials: Pineapple
( + Pork Confit Tacos with Grilled Pineapple Salsa)

Look at that up there.  I did that.  Sometimes it's okay to be impressed by yourself, right?  That doesn't make me obnoxious.  Or conceited.  Not if I'm legitimately amazed.  Really, I think that just proves how humble I am.  Freakishly humble.  Impressively humble.  I win at humility. 

I made confit tacos.  And you can too.

March 26, 2013

Bear Essentials: Pineapple
( + Cinnamon-Poached Pineapple)

Until I was nine or ten and learned about Super Mario Brothers, the best thing I could imagine winning was the serving of fruit cocktail that held the one lipstick-colored, smashed half of a maraschino cherry.

If you don't understand this reference, canned fruit clearly didn't feature as heavily in your childhood as it did in mine.

March 25, 2013

Bear Essentials: Pineapple
( + Pineapple and Macadamia Nut Tart )

I don't know what's happening around your house...but here in Detroit, Spring has definitely not sprung.  In fact, there's an inch of snow on the ground.  Which, yes, is preferable than having to look at the other things that tend to lay around on the ground in Detroit.  But still.

I've had just about enough of this silliness.

March 15, 2013

I Judge
(+ Monte Cristo Pockets)

Confession time, guys: I'm not the nicest person in the world.  I'm not even sixth or seventh.
Back in my hippie youth, I thought all people had value.  I thought that all opinions were worthwhile and valid, and that people should be respected for their differences.

But then I met people who stiff waitresses, and people who abandoned their children to become (terrible) poets, and people who watch Hillbilly Handfishing.  And now I'm old and cranky, and I'm pretty sure that most people are really just wrong.  And the remaining people are me.

March 3, 2013

Bear Essentials: Pudding
( + Licorice Pudding )

                          I know I've already angered, like, half of you.  And I'm okay with that.

                                            We can't all like black licorice.

                               No one's suggesting that you're required to like black licorice.  

                      They might be suggesting that you're irrationally making your world 
                    a more bleak and depressing place with your unfounded distaste    
                                      for one of nature's greatest inventions....

                                           But it's not like anyone's telling you what to do.

March 2, 2013

Bear Essentials: Pudding
( + Butterscotch Pudding )

Butterscotch Pudding,
such a January food.
Simple, quick, divine.

Warm for dark nights in
or chilled as the biting wind -
Eh, screw the diet.