Bear Essentials: Pineapple ( + Cranberry-Chipotle Meatballs with Pineapple )

It's Friday, and it's been a long week, and I'm really tired, guys.

Nobody likes to spend time hovering over a stove when they're exhausted.  So I thought I'd give you the fastest recipe you've ever seen. 

Well, fastest if you don't include slow-cooker time.  We don't count slow-cooker time, do we?  Because if you can paint your toenails and pay the bills and walk the dog and answer 86 emails and plant some strawberries, it probably shouldn't count as "cooking time."

That's going to be my Saturday afternoon, by the way.

This recipe is magic.

For reals.

You take a bag of frozen meatballs (thawed).  Or maybe you don't.  Maybe you have a bushel full of fresh artisanal meatballs just sitting around the house.  But I don't.

Then you add in 2 cans of fruit and a smidge of brown sugar and the teeniest bit of chipotle (or more if you're brave).

And the slow cooker does something magical with it all.  And you don't even have to hang around while it happens.

This is more than the sum of its parts, guys.  Give it a try.  And don't forget to do your toenails - it's almost sandal season!

Cranberry-Chipotle Meatballs with Pineapple

from Allrecipes.com

Cooked Meatballs  [ 16 ounces ]
Canned Jellied Cranberry Sauce  [ 1  16-ounce can ]
Canned Pineapple Chunks  [ 1  15-ounce can, drained ]
Brown Sugar  [ packed, 1/4 cup ]
Canned Chipotle Chile in Adobo Sauce  [ 1/2 chile, chopped ]
Cooked White Rice  [ to taste, for serving ]

1.  Place Meatballs in slow cooker.
2.   In a bowl, mash up Cranberry Sauce with a fork.
3.   Mix in Pineapple, Brown Sugar, and Chile.
4.   Pour Sauce over Meatballs and stir to coat Meatballs thoroughly.
5.   Place lid on slow cooker, set to Low, and cook 4-5 hours.  Sauce will have thickened quite a bit.
6.   Serve over Rice.

 Serves 4

Bear Essentials: Pineapple ( + Pineapple Upside-Down Pancakes )

Sure, this is a lot of rum for one recipe - especially for something that's meant to be eaten for breakfast.  

And you're saying that's a bad thing?

Bear Essentials: Pineapple ( + Pork Confit Tacos with Grilled Pineapple Salsa)

Look at that up there.  I did that.  Sometimes it's okay to be impressed by yourself, right?  That doesn't make me obnoxious.  Or conceited.  Not if I'm legitimately amazed.  Really, I think that just proves how humble I am.  Freakishly humble.  Impressively humble.  I win at humility. 

I made confit tacos.  And you can too.

Bear Essentials: Pineapple ( + Cinnamon-Poached Pineapple)

Until I was nine or ten and learned about Super Mario Brothers, the best thing I could imagine winning was the serving of fruit cocktail that held the one lipstick-colored, smashed half of a maraschino cherry.

If you don't understand this reference, canned fruit clearly didn't feature as heavily in your childhood as it did in mine.

Bear Essentials: Pineapple ( + Pineapple and Macadamia Nut Tart )

I don't know what's happening around your house...but here in Detroit, Spring has definitely not sprung.  In fact, there's an inch of snow on the ground.  Which, yes, is preferable than having to look at the other things that tend to lay around on the ground in Detroit.  But still.

I've had just about enough of this silliness.