July 31, 2013

Bear Essentials: Ice Cream
( + Lucky Charms Ice Cream )

If you give a bear this recipe...
She'll need to make it STAT.
She'll dig an ancient box of Lucky Charms out of the pantry,
And hunched over two bowls like some obsessive-compulsive gargoyle, 
She'll separate the marshmallows from the cereal.
And then she'll make this ice cream.
And eat.
And eat.
And eat.

But if you let a bear make ice cream out of cereal, she'll eat it for breakfast.
A lot.
And then she'll feel guilty.
She'll go to the cupboard for a healthier breakfast
And she'll find a box of cereal.
She'll pour herself a bowl of Lucky Charms -
Only to find a bowl with no charm at all:
A marshmallowless bowl of godforsaken plaindamn grains.
And she'll get a little rage-ey.

So she'll add raisins to her cereal instead,
Because god knows she's not going to eat that stuff plain.
But it takes 7 raisins to equal 1 marshmallow,
As everyone knows
So soon she'll run out of raisins.
And she'll have to go to the store.
And while she's at the store she'll see a box of Lucky Charms.
So of course she'll buy it 
And go home to make ice cream again.

The End

Lucky Charms Ice Cream
from Cathy
at Noble Pig
I know it sounds weird, but listen: you know that milk that's left at the bottom of your cereal bowl?  The stuff that's tinted pink, or chocolate, and tastes like awesome?  That's what this ice cream tastes like.  And then you add crunchy marshmallows to it.  And on top of that, this recipe makes a ridiculously creamy ice cream that stops thiiiiis short of basically being frozen pudding.  Frozen pudding with marshmallows.  That's right.  You're welcome.

Heavy Cream  [ 1 1/2 cups ]
Whole Milk  [ 1 1/2 cups ]
Buttermilk  [ 1/2 cup ]
Lucky Charms Cereal, Marshmallows Removed  [ 1 1/2 cups ]
Sugar  [ 1/2 cup ]
Egg Yolks  [ 5 ]
Vanilla  [ 1 teaspoon ]
Lucky Charms Marshmallows  [ 1 cup ]

1.   In a bowl, mix together Cream, Milk, Buttermilk, and Cereal.  
2.   Let steep for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.
3.   Transfer mixture to blender and blend thoroughly.  Mixture will be frothy.
4.   In a large pot, mix Milk Mixture and Sugar.
5.   Stirring frequently, heat mixture over Low heat until warmed through and beginning to form bubbles at 
         the sides of the pot.  Remove from heat.
6.   Place Egg Yolks in a bowl and beat slightly to break them up.
7.   Whisking constantly, slowly add 1/4 cup of the warmed Milk Mixture.
8.   Repeat, 1/4 cup of Milk Mixture at a time, at least twice more.
9.   Whisking constantly, slowly add Egg Mixture to Milk Mixture in pot.
10.   Return pot to low heat and, stirring constantly and never allowing contents to boil, cook until Mixture 
             coats the back of a spoon.  Remove from heat.
11.   Add in Vanilla Extract.
12.   Pour Custard into a bowl and place in refrigerator until very cold  [ preferably overnight ].
13.   Freeze in an ice-cream maker according to manufacturer's instructions
14.   Just before Ice Cream is completely frozen, add Marshmallows.
15.   Scrape Ice Cream into a bowl and press surface with waxed paper.
16.   Freeze until firm, at least 4 hours.

Makes about 1 quart.

This Time Last Year on Being a Bear:
Peach-Bourbon BBQ Shrimp


  1. How is this legal???

    Love the recipe and looking forward to trying it. FYI, you can save the cereal... Most places that sell bulk foods also sell bags of "Lucky Charms" marshmallows by the pound. ;)

    1. No. Way. You have changed my entire life with that revelation. To The Store!!!